Hey, it’s only money

IT’S been a busy week at my parents’ house. The Current Mrs Feeney has decided that, as we are spending money clearing and replanting their garden, we should spend more money modernising their kitchen and bathroom. There is a flaw in this argument, if I could just find it.

Two designers have been out to measure up the rooms. We have seen their designs – and had their costings.

The first one made my eyes water. They were not tears of joy. And I did not much like his designs anyway.

We much preferred the second designer’s plan for the kitchen. She quotes us £4,800 for the units and appliances. The Current Mrs Feeney effortlessly increases this to £5,500 by upgrading the proposed appliances. This is about the same as the first designer quoted, but we think we can get it installed for a lot less than he wanted to do the job.

Back home in our own kitchen, The Current Mrs Feeney says “Now don’t shout at me”.. (anybody who knows our relationship will be aware that this is as likely as a cure for the common cold)..”but I’m going to ask Lyn” (the kitchen designer: when the hell did we get on first-name terms?) “to cost the kitchen in Tewkesbury.” That’s a different range of units. More expensive. But you’d already guessed that.


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